A Kiss is a Lovely Trick
by heartofShou
Summary: ZelosxLloyd.  Ever since that day, Zelos knew that he was frozen.  However, no matter how one might wish for permanence, life- and people- change.  Including people's hearts.


Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, its plot, or any of its characters. I do not make any profit from this whatsoever save for an outlet for my fangirling and some internet love. Also, the title comes from a quote by Ingrid Bergman. See the end for details.

Spoilers: YES. Tons. Everywhere.

Pairing: ZelosxLloyd

Note: Written for Antiquity-Dreams's birthday. Her request was for Zelos and Lloyd's first kiss and it was originally supposed to be just 500 words. Pfft. I'm an English major; I can't write anything short to save my life. (God help me.) Somehow that simple theme developed into this... monstrosity you see before you. (Seriously, what the hell?) For I started to think about something I've seen quite a few Zelloyd fans bring up: the basic idea that Zelos and Lloyd wouldn't actually get together because Zelos wouldn't be able to bring himself to have a relationship _because_ of how much Lloyd means to him. The notion has really intrigued me and I could see it as something that Zelos would have to work through. So somehow I took that idea and ran with it to show how Zelos and Lloyd shared their first kiss. In a lot of ways it's quite different than what I tend to write so I really pushed myself to see what I could do. Anyway, enough blabbing! Enjoy!

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><p><em><strong>A Kiss is a Lovely Trick<strong>_

"I took my love down to violet hill

There we sat in snow

All that time she was silent still

So if you love me

Won't you let me know?"

-VioletHill, **Coldplay**

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><p>The apathetic flakes of snow had continued to fall, unperturbed that a thing of flesh now lay between the fresh innocence and the blood-soaked brethren that had fluttered down before. The cold covered buildings, haggard twigs of once living flora, and now it bit and strangled into human bodies. As her blood spilled away, Mylene's hatred had spilled out along with it. The snow must have fallen into her eyes for the emotion in them had been covered over with ice and like with light through water, distorted the life that had simmered like dying embers for most her life. Her bare hand had already been cold as icicles as the limb lifted it up to brush at the rosy, warm cheeks of her son. Blue lips cracked open to mutter dying gasps of syllables, puffs of white hovering in the dead air as Mylene breathed out the last of her warmth.<p>

_"__You __should... __never... __never __have __been__ born...__"_

Then the fingers curled in like a withered blossom and sunk down into the snow. Hatred was etched forever in her eyes, shuttered only when a panicked servant had waved his hand gently down the beautiful countenance that had been the chosen subject of so many portraits and like a magic trick the hatred was gone and a peaceful expression left in its place. The lady seemed serene even with the crudely blasted strike that had torn apart her blue-blooded body.

Zelos never believed his mother had died that day, not really. The pitying murmurs of servants had never really penetrated his ears and his father's dry tone from his deathbed, informing him that he must come to reality, to not mourn more than was necessary had been ignored with a stony countenance. Frozen inside him were the words he could not say, the childish interpretation that had been carved into his heart: that his mother had not died, but that she had been turned into ice. Rather than stay here with him and be his adoring, maternal parent, she had frozen and melted away to wherever snow went when spring came.

The one that had shattered it all- his mother's murderess, people reminded him- was put to trial and they said that she walked in with a rope around her neck though Zelos hadn't seen it. It must have caught on something though because the day before she was found guilty, she was put to death. Zelos had not seen that either. He had been made to sit by his father's bedside as the man's condition deteriorated. Seeing a man die before his eyes had sealed that frozen notion inside him. For dead people were unmistakable. They were a mockery of the living, with all the trappings of flesh but none of what it was that made up the heart and soul.

Just like Mylene had been an entire masquerade of a mother and so had never really been one deep inside.

The look in his father's eyes hadn't frosted over like Mylene's had. His last words had been a whisper- a name of one now dangling from a rope- and Zelos hadn't seen it shimmer in the air, caught by the cold. This is because his father had died, not becoming snow. The lucky bastard had selfishly kept all his warmth inside, cheeks flushed even as he "passed away" in his sleep. He had escaped through the dreams he had always chosen to see instead of Zelos and his mother.

'You would be happy then, Father,' Zelos had thought coldly, his expression not changing as the servants cried and draped a seat respectfully over the man's face. 'Your lover succeeded. Mother is snow and I am too. There is no life in any of us anymore. The snow took it all.'

Only it hadn't bled out of him like Mother's had. His heart still beat and his lungs still craved air- he would continue to live. But no matter how much Sebastian stoked the fires and covered him in thick blankets, Zelos knew the truth. He was frozen inside and always would be.

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><p>People of the royal court, made sensitive by the sudden deaths of his parents or at least intrigued by the scandal of it, drew closer to him and paid him special attention. He was still a child and easily flattered; he was still a child and overheard things he wasn't supposed to. To his face was said one thing and behind his back another. The one thing nobility is equal with though was backstabbing. He learned about others- their weaknesses, their faults, their real selves they tried to sweep under the rugs. Always a quick learner, he quickly adapted to their game.<p>

Always one that sought to win, he soon learned to conquer them.

One day in the future- although how could he have known that?- he would meet people who were different, people who were genuinely warm and kind. They would be flawed and vulnerable, but made beautiful by accepting those stains as parts of themselves and cleaving them together into impenetrable armor. It would all be because of a young man, who would be unlike anything this world or its twin had ever known before. One who was warmth and acceptance, life and perseverance, unconditional love and friendship.

But Zelos would not meet them for some time. So in the intermediate years he carved his mask and made it full body armor, seamless and indiscernible. He forged and varnished the perfect smile, able to disarm and entice, coercing whatever it is he desired. With his position he needed for nothing, but that did not stop him from _wanting_. And people gave freely, so freely. Sex was a give and take, a rocking rhythm of need and desire. It was a meeting of a need- albeit a pleasurable one. He sunk in his claws and sucked in their warmth, heating his veins and fueling his guise- and still they gave, so _happy_ to think they got a piece of him.

However, there could never be enough warm bodies in his bed- though he never failed to try- to keep out winter. It came without fail and he became hypersensitive to the crisp tinge carried on the wind that warned of coming frost. At that time of year he would be struck with a sudden "whim" to visit his private island, to make sure it was not going to waste all by its lonesome. Sebastian played along, professionally feigning consternation at his master's abrupt declaration of departure even as he loaded carefully prepared luggage. White sand, bright sunshine, and cool shade of palm trees were the perfect distraction from troubles and Zelos's adult mind reasoned that it rejuvenated him for the next oncoming year. One could not be perfect _all_ the time after all.

The frozen bruise on his heart knew better. A year could pass and another take its place but it did not age that childish belief and he could not give up his yearly escapes no matter how many times they returned to learn no snow had fallen that winter. There was no taking chances.

For Zelos knew his mother had not really died. Snow melted but it always came back. He was convinced that one of these days his mother would come again with the ice, the hatred again bare in her frozen eyes.

And on that day the rest of him would freeze completely.

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><p>Lloyd was like a hundred summers.<p>

For one thing, he was continually full of surprises. Zelos, a skilled reader of people, was forever being thrown for a loop by what would next come out of that boy's mouth. The brunette was stubborn, but willing to fix his mistakes. He clung to hope not because he refused to look at reality but because he understood how stark it could be. If things could be fixed, he would do his best to fix them. Because the hero in red was a human but in all ways he was a dwarf, and it was uncomplicated Dwarven logic that this is what you did with broken things.

_"__I __want__ you __to __live __too ,__Zelos.__"_

There wasn't an innocence to him, not exactly. He had been lonely and he had been hurt. He knew what it was to be the outsider and different in a way you couldn't help. Perhaps it was that crook in a man that tried to be so virtuous that let him connect to people with much darker pasts. When first getting to know each other, Zelos had watched with distant amusement as Lloyd had dealt with the pity cases he called friends and comrades. He thought that as long as he was along for the ride he could pull his weight by being the one person Lloyd didn't have to save, the one in that whole group that did not lean on the poor kid and hope that he would be strong enough to hold them all up.

Well, that hadn't worked out as planned!

Maybe it was the honest agate eyes that hid nothing. Maybe it was the way Lloyd made the impossible come true. Maybe it was the feeling of that strong but thin shoulder under his chin as Zelos had draped himself across the red hero's back.

Lloyd was far from perfect, but Zelos wouldn't trade him for the world. Indeed, he had traded everything he had thought he wanted- Celes becoming Chosen, the destruction of the caste system he loathed, staying with the clear winning side because he hated losing- just so Lloyd wouldn't have to die. The man that never gambled pulled back all his chips at the last moment and bet on the dark horse.

_"__I __want __you __to __live __too ,__Zelos.__"_

During that talk in Flanoir, snowflakes had been drifting down and covering everything, apathetic to their surroundings. After all these years of running, he had given into the phobia- hadn't bothered even humoring it this time around; circumstances were so much larger and he felt so far away from that little boy in the blood-stained snow.

Lloyd had listened to his story and watched Zelos's breath come out in puffs of misty warmth. The things the double agent had tried to hint at had gone right over the brunette's head and instead the dwarven raised boy's words stabbed at something else entirely. Those words- six plus one name- had sparked in Zelos more warmth than any funnest bout of fucking he had had before. It was then that Zelos had known, known with a steel certainty his logical mind could not shake. The epiphany was lightning, a heated but prickly piercing to his heart: there was not a road this man in red would walk that Zelos would not walk with him.

Which is how he had volunteered to go journeying with the young man in the first place. It had not been as sporadic an idea as he had played it as at the time. And after being exposed to one Lloyd Irving, how could he possibly go back to the life he had had before? It was impossible. He could not give up the first- and only- healthy relationship he had ever had in his life anymore than he could give up breathing. Lloyd had wanted him to live and now he was going to have to take responsibility for this new life. In Zelos's mind, the brunette was stuck with him like it or not.

Lloyd hadn't _fixed_ him though. That was also impossible. However, there was not another person anywhere that made Zelos feel like he did when Lloyd was around.

Happy. Genuinely and completely happy.

The redhead found inside aspects of himself that he had never known was there. Lloyd openly admired him and for the first time Zelos found himself worthy of admiration. It was an exhilarating rush and like the addict he was, Zelos found his need for someone's warmth- anyone's warmth- being replaced with a fierce desire for Lloyd's presence. He was freer than he had ever been, but oddly dependent on a single person that could never be replaced. And he didn't want it to change. At all. For of course, in the back of his mind, he was ever aware that happiness was balanced precariously on the edge of a knife. Tip it over and the game reset itself.

It was why he blinded himself to the growing unspoken issue between them for as long as he had.

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><p>An object passing before a person's eyes can look perfectly ordinary ninety-nine times, but then, somehow, on the hundredth turn, it is suddenly captivating in a way the eyes can now not unsee. Forever it will be a sight the vision thirsts for, drinking in every detail like life-giving rain. Yet when asked how it is different from before, no answer can be given.<p>

That was what falling in love was like for Lloyd.

He had always known that Zelos was attractive. It may not have been his _first_ impression- there had been other adjectives used for that- but he hadn't needed other people's reactions to bring it to his attention. However it had just been a given. Zelos was annoying and he was attractive. Not much to it.

Annoyance built up to tolerance which is where their bond would have stayed had it not been for the little things. Zelos hid himself expertly but not completely. The small tidbits leaked were enough to spark a curiosity, a peaked interest that kept Lloyd's attention straying back. He had always trusted easily- perhaps a little less easily after Kratos, but he could not help but give people the benefit of the doubt- but Zelos had been different. Not because he had been harder to trust- no, no. At the time there were no suspicions, no nagging in Lloyd's mind that Zelos was not the compatriot he had proven himself to be. It was just... It had been the first time that giving his trust felt like it _meant_ something.

_"__Zelos...__ I __trust __you.__"_

They had a firm friendship, a closeness that he had never known with another person before. Genis was too young and there were some things a boy couldn't share with his father. Lloyd was close to each of his friends- a bond of fellowship time and distance could not fade- but he _related_ to Zelos on a different level. Laughing and goofing off came easily. Secret sharing not so much, but inner musings slipped out more often than not so that they got a certain practice at it. It was a relationship that did not depend on battle and danger to keep them together; it only seemed to get stronger as they went about creating some semblance of normalcy.

Zelos became like his right arm. Their teamwork was like a single body with one mind, working in perfect tandem. He knew the other's likes and dislikes, quirks that rubbed him wrong before time and patience got him used to them. It helped watching Zelos learning to do the same with his own faults. They had disagreements over issues that were pseudo-arguments but before they could cross a line into real quarreling, Zelos would pull back and away. Lloyd got used to it, unknowingly allowed it, and before they knew it they had a pattern. If there was a problem, one would leave to get over it in private with the understanding that when he got back, he would be done with it. Surprisingly it worked for awhile despite not truly solving anything. So when it came time for Lloyd to try and address the invisible bubble between them that was growing and growing, he was stuck with a partner that dismissed him and ignored the problem all together.

Falling in love had been the easy part.

Zelos was eye-catching and Lloyd was all too eager to watch. There was the cascade of crimson hair that hung untamed down against a broad back, muscled and proud. Tall and lean, the Chosen still managed to have all the grace of a dancer, his movement in battle or practice fluid without waste. Even Zelos's casual walk was a stride of a confident man that knew he was desirable and so teased all eyes upon him, inviting their stares. So much smugness. Amethyst eyes were made all the more captivating when framed in the sort of strong features only the best of breeding could bring out. Two firm lips were where all the expression was. A trimmed eyebrow might quirk now and then, but Zelos's lips were what gave him away. So smoothly they moved from wide grin and sly smile to thin displeasure and downturn of anger with all the emotions in-between. It was only when a pink tongue peeked out to unconsciously moisten those lips that it occurred to the hero in red that he was watching for not altogether platonic reasons.

And there was no going back from there.

* * *

><p>Zelos had spent far too long noticing and interpreting people's behavior to stay in complete denial too long. And Lloyd's openness gave him away so easily.<p>

The feeling showed itself in lingering touches that explored past previously unspoken boundaries- a feather caress against the back of a neck, the leaning in to an embrace that was more than an exasperated surrender, a hand coming to rest against his with measured casualness that belied a heavily beating heart. It slipped through the words Lloyd found himself stumbling over, words that once only had one meaning but now suddenly could make him flustered without warning. It shined in Lloyd's open, honest eyes- agate eyes that could almost meet lilac so fearlessly- and in Lloyd's smile, that became a little more dreamy, a little more wistful, and a little more happy over simple things. When Zelos started up his teasing- whispering snide remarks into an ear while draping himself, like usual, over Lloyd's back and shoulders- the brunette was a little clumsier to retort back, any wit being blocked by his heart throbbing up into his throat. How is it Zelos could never hear it, pressed as close as he was? (Lloyd wondered about it briefly before just accepting his luck for what it was.) Also not helpful was the new awareness of Zelos's weight behind him, of his warmth and scent. He- Lloyd, that is- blushed far too often these days and there were times when he could have sworn that the handsome male did it all on purpose.

In truth a hard stone was forming in Zelos's gut, growing heavier with each hint his sharp mind took note of even as it clung to that facade of obliviousness. For how could he not notice? For most of his life, his intial interactions with people were spent gauging their often blatant interest in him. Women were more fun to tease- and quite frankly better at gifts- but that did not mean he was blind to the effect he had on men either. Everything was used to his advantage to better get his way. And given how publicly low his standards were, women openly competed with one another to hog his attentions, going to great lengths to throw themselves at him. So while he came to recognize Lloyd's behavior for what it was, for a long time Zelos was confused as to why Lloyd was being so sheepish about it. (He wondered about it continuously despite reminding himself that he should be glad the other did not do more.) That was until he realized that this wasn't Lloyd's bizarre way of being coy- _the__hero__in__red_ _was__being__shy._

The epiphany made something flutter in his chest while the stone sank lower And how could that be? He wanted desperately for things to stay as they were, for Lloyd to stay as his Bud, his one true friend. His dead, winter heart could not allow anyone any closer. For Lloyd's sake more than his. He held onto his conviction so tightly- he was going to be a _decent_ person for once and not ask more of the hero in red than he deserved- and so the thought of Lloyd developing true romantic feelings for hm filled him with such a sense of- _elation,__hope,__tenderness_- disgust. It could not be allowed to happen. He would do nothing and wait for the tumultuous spring feeling to pass as it must.

Spring was full of budding newness and vitality, but it matured and aged away. For winter always came. And winter killed everything. Nothing of spring could outlast that.

* * *

><p>It is said that time will either weaken resolve or strengthen it. For Lloyd, however, it seemed to do both. He was constantly by Zelos's side and yet not able to be <em>with<em> him in a way he was learning to want. He had Zelos's attention but was not able to get the other man to see him in a real way. As time passed he came to see another Lloyd, one of great importance that Zelos saw inside the hero in red, but one that was simultaneously standing between the real one and the ex-Chosen.

"I don't need to be fixed," Zelos had told him once in a hushed darkness that hid the secrets facial features could give away. "I know I need to live with who I am and that includes scars and faults. It's not so bad being me, you know? But yeah, I'm not looking to be _saved_ or anything."

At the time Lloyd had taken it as a positive sign, as Zelos learning that he deserved to live as much as anyone else. After all this time, however, he was seeing it as a symptom of something else. Zelos wasn't looking for something to make him perfect because what he was innately deprived of he saw as being fulfilled by Lloyd, by a gentle idealist. This was not to say he did not acknowledge that Lloyd had faults and weaknesses- by now they complemented each other too well, fit too neatly into each other's patterns to not see how they balanced each other out- but that even with them, Lloyd was a better person- a more worthy person- than Zelos. And this placed Lloyd up at a level where he could not directly connect to Zelos.

If it had been anyone else, perhaps Lloyd could have been more aggressive. He had never tried to woo someone before, but that did not mean he was not willing to try. Suave and charismatic he may not be, being only a country boy, but he knew he could take proactive measures. With anyone else he could have taken the lead, tugging Zelos along to see if he wanted to explore this new feeling too. Yet that was just the point. It was not just anyone else. Zelos was singularly of a different importance and that kept Lloyd in a sort of limbo. He could not stop his feelings, indeed did not want to. However he needed more than just his selfish impulses for love, like a bridge, cannot be built on just one side. If he could only sense _something_ from the other, the slightest hint that he was not asking for the impossible- or else to know once and for all that he was looking at an abrupt edge, beyond which nothing existed.

* * *

><p>There is only so much a mind can stay in denial over and what it cannot hide overflows into dreams. The end result was that every morning made Zelos a honest man even if only for a few waking moments. For it was not as if there wasn't desire.<p>

_Lloyd was like a thousand summers. So warm, it was like holding the sun in his arms and he wanted the heat to penetrate into his veins. Bare skin made this dream lover vulnerable but not fragile; the toned muscles attested to that. Freed from restraint like he only could be in a dream, Zelos reveled in this embrace that was both giving and taking- so freely, so willingly. Familiar laughter chimed in his ears and in his sleep he would smile. His lips pressed kisses with a fevered need tempered by adoration. On the tip of his tongue was a ghost taste, a blind spot in the fantasy that not even an experienced imagination could fill in. However, it only enhanced his craving._

In these dreams Zelos was a different man, the ideal him he could picture existing in a perfect world. One that could love freely, give away a heart that wasn't ice and snow. In the lonely, waking hours, the redhead could acknowledge that there _was_ desire and a feeling even stronger and more precious than that... But it wasn't enough. He was an innately selfish creature, but he would fight this, fight it with all his being for as long as it took. Spring would pass and winter would come. For things to happen to the contrary... that belonged to a world that only existed in dreams.

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><p>As stubborn as both men were- and each was independently stubborn as hell- this unacknowledged issue that continued to swell between the two of the them did not last forever. After all, sooner or later the bubble must pop.<p>

One of the complexities of the human heart is that even while the inside is as tumultuous as a stormy sea, it is still very much capable of feeling happiness. So even with one struggling with unrequited love and other pretending he saw nothing, their friendship continued along as normal as could be. Still always they were together. And they were happy.

It had happened accidentally. They were goofing around as they were wont to do. Teasing was a regular part of their interaction and it wasn't unusual for this to lead to roughhousing. Jabs, shoves, grappling- it was all in good fun and if each took their chances when they thought the other wouldn't notice to enjoy contact and stolen touches... Well, then neither was going to mention it.

After a long day of journeying, one that had been fairly uneventful by all accounts, they had been feeling silly and there was no telling who started it. At first they were bumping into each other as though stumbling over their feet but soon they were laughing while trying to shove the other off the road. Noishe was their only spectator and he was far too used to this to even perk an ear as he padded along ahead. Without thinking, Zelos near tackled Lloyd from behind, wrapping the brunette in a tight hold with both arms, squeezing as the other struggled to get free (presumably). Protesting and calling the redhead all sorts of names, Lloyd pulled at the top arm that had a familiar clasp around his shoulders, trying to ignore the other arm that was low around his waist. Their words were soon coming out nonsense as they laughed open and hard. On a whim- and since he already had the hero in red in his grasp- Zelos crowed his impending victory and spun the younger man around and off his toes. Lloyd yelped in surprise and misstepped dizzily as he was placed on his feet again. The hold shifted just slightly to help steady and just in case the other's hands came up to take firm hold of the taller man's shoulders. It was only as their chuckles died down for oxygen's sake that they truly took notice of their proximity and position.

They had been close before but not like this, not like lovers. It was startlingly how natural it felt, how comfortable. Agate eyes and lilac eyes were caught on each other, staring in shock. Their bodies were pressed close and their mouths were nearly as close, close enough to feel soft puffs of breath against their skin. Lloyd glanced down reluctantly at the pair of lips he had been captivated by so many times before. His attention caught, his fingers absently began to play with the loose crimson strands of Zelos's hair. The infamous playboy, meanwhile, was frozen stiffly, thoughts at war with each other as to what to do next. Obviously he should extract himself and reestablish their tentative boundaries, but it was like he was captured in a waking dream. The brunette felt that same too-good-to -be-true and just like in a flight of fancy, impositions were a bit easier to ignore. Lloyd leaned in as he had wanted to and the tip of his nose brushed lightly against Zelos's cheek and that brief caress of skill sent shivers down their backs.

Just like when it snowed.

Suddenly the air had a distinct warning crisp of frost. Lilac eyes snapped open- when had they closed? What a bumbling fool he was. Awakening from this daydream, Zelos found that he had been falling completely. Oh, not in actuality, but in the way his head had leaned forward and cocked at that practiced angle, it was clear he had been about to lose everything. So close. Too close. With a chocked sound that froze solid in his throat, he pulled back. The arm around Lloyd's waist pulled along the brunette possessively closer. Flesh was so traitorous, but he would not give in. Determination set his mouth- previously so eager for even a light kiss- into a sneer.

"Zelos?" the soft murmur of his name caught his attention and once more lilac eyes looked into agate- and were stunned as to what they saw. Hurt. Hurt and disappointment. And for the first time it made Zelos unsure. "What is it? What's wrong? I mean, I thought you wanted..." The brunette trailed off, embarrassed, and the atmosphere became strangled with awkwardness.

No words would come. Nothing comes from ice. Instead the ex-Chosen's mouth opened and closed without a sound before he slowly withdrew from the embrace and gently removed Lloyd's hold. He shuddered again. How could he have missed that characteristic chill of coming winter? Always he had left with plenty of time to spare but now he found winter upon him. And the status quo he had struggled to maintain was slipping through his fingers.

Lloyd took a few steps back. With a deep breath, he rubbed the back of his head with some agitation he was trying- and failing- to hide. "Look, I..." he spoke defensively, determined to speak regardless of the situation. "This might not be the best time, but there's something I should say. I think. And maybe I should have brought it up sooner. I'm not really good at this waiting and trying to judge other people's emotions. Trust me, I tried. Because I thought- thought you needed it." There was a certain slant of light in those agate eyes. "But maybe it'd be best to get this out in the open."

No. No, no, no, _no_. This wasn't allowed to happen- Zelos seized panic by the throat and beat it down. He _would_ be in control here. He was an adult, vastly experienced with this sort of thing, and he and Lloyd shared an unshakeable bond. This was something that could be handled maturely.

A faint blush shyly lit up the red hero's cheeks. The one that was known to spontaneously give grandiose speeches on friendship, trust, and life without much self-awareness was suddenly _shy_ over what he had to say. It caused that odd little thing to flutter in Zelos's chest again. "This isn't easy. And I wasn't expecting it," Lloyd continued, keeping his voice steady and his gaze straightforward. "But I am sure of it. Sure of how I feel." He fidgeted, shifting his weight. Gloved hands curled into fists. "Just take this seriously when I tell you I'm in love you!"

Words once spoken could now not be unspoken. The redhead had been expecting it- had braced himself to bear it- but it nearly bulldozed him over. Strange how three words fangirls were keen to squeal again and again suddenly seemed so cute and sweet when coming from someone else- when coming from Lloyd. He had spent so long convincing himself that those feelings would fade that to be confronted with the truth of them was to also finally be allowed to experience the pure astounded happiness he truly felt at the wonder of Lloyd being in love with him. For a brief span of heartbeats he selfishly allowed that feeling to envelope him savoring it as something that would never come again.

Lloyd almost thought it worked, that perhaps he had worried for nothing and Zelos would accept his words. So when instead the redhead plastered on that carefree smile, he felt ready to hit something.

"Oh Bud," the infamous playboy's tone was overly sweet and impersonal. "No need to be so sappy! I care about you too, buddy-"

Agate eyes were narrowed and the red hero growled in irritation, "Do I have to hit you over the head or something? I thought we were done with this crap."

"What crap?" Zelos was all innocence.

"The crap where you humor me like you do everyone else!"

Zelos hesitated, searching for words. It made Lloyd feel like he was seven again and needed to be placated. Naturally this only fueled his aggravation. "Take me seriously!" he insisted firmly.

Lilac eyes flashed and the other's tone became cold, "And do what?"

Lloyd was taken aback, "What?"

The words came out in that same frosty way, "What do you want from me?" Though Zelos's lips were thin with growing anger, the brunette knew him well enough- had watched that face so often- to spot the slight furrowing between crimson eyebrows that spoke of chafing frustration.

"Your reply," answered the hero in red as if it should be perfectly obvious. "Whatever it is."

"You mean a yes or a no?" Defensive sarcasm.

Lloyd sighed, "I mean an acknowledgment, unlike your usual habit of brushing me off. Don't look at me like that. Did you think I didn't notice? Whenever something comes up that you don't know how to handle you ignore it and hope that it goes away." As the other grumbled some half-hearted denials, the brunette smiled. "You forget that I _know_ you. To a certain extent. What I would like to know is what _you_ want."

"I want things to stay the same," the words were let loose. "You. Me. That we can go back to how it was before, when things weren't as complicated. To stay the same forever." Lilac eyes looked away as Zelos concluded quietly, "To not have you stuck wanting something that I'm not sure I can give you."

The younger man was silent for a long while. His expression wasn't dismayed so much as carefully considering what had been put to him. When at last he did speak, it was with his characteristic bluntness, "Well, that doesn't make any sense."

"What?" gaped Zelos, taken aback.

The brunette scratched the back of his head. "Stay the same?" he repeated. "Forever? But that could never happen. Zelos, even if I _didn't_ feel this way about you, our friendship wouldn't have stayed the same way forever. At what point would you have liked to have been stuck anyways? Back when we got on each other's nerves? When we were barely getting to know each other? When you first started to trust me?" He grinned widely and chuckled. "Our relationship has _never_ been consistent and I'm glad of that. I've rather liked getting to know you better and to have stupid fights with you and all the silly stuff in-between. Relationships only keep evolving just like people are everyday. It's how it should be. I'd hate to be stuck and not be able to see what develops next!"

Spring turns into summer. Summer matures into autumn and so autumn could pass away into winter. But stupid Zelos had forgotten that after every winter, always without fail, comes a spring. Things just didn't come to a dead-end, screeching to a halt. Instead it moved in a cycle, always continuing, and always progressing.

The sneer softened into a hesitant smile. "As always you remind how much I need to mature," Zelos's words warmed with good humor. "So not cool." He paused as if not to go on before finally allowing himself to. "I'm not sure... what to say." It's not that he wasn't sure how he felt. His feelings- the true emotions he had tucked away- were the same as they had always been. No... not the same. Apathy had shifted into an admiration that somehow metamorphisized into a love that was progressing even now. Especially now. However, Lloyd's words hadn't changed his mind for him. Just like they had on that turning point night in Flanoir, these words allowed him to see things in a new light he hadn't considered before, so that perhaps he could come to a different conclusion than just being stuck with one choice alone.

Lloyd's smile didn't even falter. "Well who said you had to know right now?" he quipped. "I just wanted you to take me seriously. And to get that off my chest!" There was an exaggerated sigh of relief. "But you're at least considering what I've said... That means you're not ignoring me. For right now, it's enough." At Zelos's unsure look, he took a step forward, leaning in close with a cocky grin. "It's a _confession._Not an ultimatum."

Zelos laughed before he could stop himself and that cracked his smile into a grin. He suddenly felt so foolish. This was _Lloyd_- his stubborn, determined, loyal, passionate, caring Bud. He had thought that Flanoir had marked his turning point, the moment when he had truly learned what faith and trust were. However, trust wasn't a one time done deal. One had to continue to give it, come what may. All this time he had tried so hard to do what he thought was best for Lloyd without _trusting_ Lloyd in on that decision. Their bond was real, as he had truly believed. So if it was really as strong and good as he knew it to be- then it could survive this.

Of course, he didn't bother to say any of this aloud. A feeling of peace and contentment had soothed him as only Lloyd could giving him a sense of strength that shrank his troubles down. He wouldn't reply at this time; there were still things he had to settle within himself before he could decide how he wanted to progress. Yet there was one thing he knew for certain he wanted and perhaps, like Lloyd had said, it would be enough for now.

His right hand reached out almost reverently and rested against Lloyd's warm cheek; his thumb pressed gently at the soft lips. As the brunette started, lilac eyes gleamed in amusement, pleased to have caught the red hero by surprise for once and if only for a moment. Almost childishly happy and only the slightest bit smug, Lloyd leaned in. Red gloved hands came up the magic swordsman's back, rubbing comfortingly as fingers once again played with the long hair they found hanging loose. Then agate eyes slid closed as Zelos pressed his lips to the other's. Even with this chaste soft pressure, jitters went up their spines, making their nerves tingle pleasantly. At the same time Zelos made it a bit more firm a kiss, his free arm came around the brunette, making him possessively close once more. Lloyd sighed happily- in the way only one that has waited a great deal of time for something good to arrive can- and leaned into his partner, eagerly opening his mouth in hopes the other would do the same. What was meant to be just one kiss turned into a nice collection of them, slow and deep as two people who had all the time in the world but wanted to savor the moment all the same.

Meanwhile Noishe would continue to wait at the end of the road, wondering what had taken the two so long.

_-Fin_

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop speech when words become superfluous."

**-Ingrid Bergman**


End file.
